Wellness Wednesday: Unstoppable Woman

I am woman, hear me ROAR!  Is it just me or does even the name of this course want to make you just jump up and scream?! In a good way of course.  Wowza ladies — I am entering into my 3rd week of The Become an Unstoppable Woman course with Lindsay Preston.  Can I just stop and say a few words?  And no, I’m not just blowing smoke, nor am I lying, but you guys, LIFE IS SO FREAKING GREAT!!!  Is it perfect?  Heck no.  I’m not looking for perfection though, I am working towards two (yup, just two!) goals at the moment.  These are my 90 Day Goals that I set with Lindsay on a personal VIP call with her.  (Totally worth every stinkin penny to get on that phone with this incredible woman!!)  Remember, a goal without an action is just a day dream. It’s important that your goals be measurable, attainable and within a time frame.

She took me step by step on crafting these goals.  The first goal kind of came out naturally as I had been thinking about it for a bit; I felt like it was something kind of gnawing at me from the inside out.  The second one took some time discussing with Lindsay thoughts that were swirling around in my mind.

My First Goal:

I will be able to communicate who I am at a level 10.  (scale 1-10) I will not hide/skirt around my needs/wants/desires.  At the end of 90 days I will be FREE TO BE ME.  I will live in my authentic voice and not worry about what others think about me. Right now I feel like my communication about me is at a 6; I am uncomfortable celebrating WINS and truly share what’s on my heart at times.

Mantra:  I am free to be me. 

My Second Goal:

By the end of Unstoppable, I’ll be at a 10 with my time management.  I will feel less chaotic, and there will be a flow with my days.  I currently feel like I’m at a 3– feeling unproductive, flying around the house/driving here, there and everywhere trying to keep up with everyone and everything with very little time “for me.”

Mantra:  My time is valuable. 

It took me some time to think of a good mantra, because I wanted it to be short and sweet, as well as effective!! I have noticed GREAT improvements with my mind just by repeating the original mantra I came up with in the Life Luvers course, I am worthy.  

{Remember you can still use code: JENN20 and save $20 and grab the Life Luvers course for just $77!!}

I will be totally honest and say that I kind of thought mantras were dumb.  I have tried affirmations before but they didn’t really do much for me and never really made me feel any different.  The only thing I can attribute this current success is that Lindsay’s course took me through a process (which is backed by neuroscience!) to really delve into my inner beliefs, subconscious thoughts and figure out why the heck I feel stuck!!

In module 1 we really discussed the need to write more.  Like a lot more.  Like every. Single. Day. More. 30+ minutes you should write and reflect.

Did you know writing can:

  • increase self awareness and you’ll feel less crappy?
  •  increase your thinking ability and you’ll be more authentic
  • “get you out of your own head”
  • reduce stress
  • open yourself up to self-love/compassion

I find it very odd when people don’t want to love on themselves, or think about what it is they truly want.  The biggest and most important relationship you can have is with yourself.  (I’m sure some will roll their eyes and say, no it should be with God but I’m not here to have a religious debate) and that’s fine.  But if God’s first, I sure hope you’re a super close second.  No one will be with you, in your mind, in your heart, and for the rest of YOUR LIFE.  If you’re unhappy, jealous, insecure, frustrated, feeling like the world is out to get your, mad at this person, ticked off about that…then you’ve got some work to do girlfriend. The good news? You don’t have to do it alone.

If anyone tells you that you shouldn’t work on you or ‘do you’ or spend time with yourself, I AM CALLING MAJOR BS!! That person most likely has some severe (and I mean SEVERE) IMG (inner mean girl) issues that she has not nor is ready to address.  I will say that it has been super hard for me to put myself first, as a mom and wife to a very busy/hard working man, I often leave myself off the to-do list.  I may not take the time to meal prep to eat like I should, invest time at the gym/exercise, enjoy quiet time with a book, write in my journal, tap my fingers on these old keys…and since taking Lindsay’s courses, something major has happened.  I feel as though I’m becoming who I am truly meant to be.

Another tool that’s been SO useful is what Lindsay refers to as “Do You Time.”

  • it is not selfish
  • it is needed
  • it is more than okay to prioritize yourself

My list of “do you time” includes things like:

  • Zumba class
  • blogging
  • reading
  • cooking/baking
  • walks outside
  • tea time
  • long hot shower
  • specific playlists (soft jazz or even some gangsta rap, depending on my moods!)
  • spa day
  • slowing down
  • taking photos

I’m so excited for this continued journey and am going to be opening up more on my next post about my personal ‘bullet holes’ aka, limiting beliefs that are causing me to not progress further.  They’re not fun to talk about, bring up, or even think about, but I am sharing my story here in hopes that it inspires another woman to be able to work more on herself.

I’ve been truly connecting with a divine presence lately and feel as though I am called to be more vulnerable, authentic and share some of my pains/hurts in hopes that it helps others.  If I can help even just one more woman out there, then I know my words here are not useless.  I am here to inspire, that is all!

(Sneak peek:  My timeline of my memories starts with me being born in 1981, my family, attending college 1999-2003, landing my dream job teaching, my parents’ divorce, a bad relationship/breakup, meeting my now husband, my Master’s degree, parental drama, and much more! I will reveal some of my ‘bullet holes’ from these memories.)

Don’t forget that Lindsay offers a free assessment for you to see if you’d be a good match to work with her and become a Life Luver or even better, an Unstoppable Woman! If you have any questions don’t hesitate to e-mail me jenndellefave@gmail and I’ll happily share more thoughts on this life coaching experience.

Wellness Wednesday: Trusting the Process

Well, 8 days in and ish started getting hard.

I was able to keep up with most of my coaching work on a daily basis, despite going away to Toronto.  Luckily we had some down time in our gorgeous suite in the hotel.  I plugged in my headphones and made it work! It’s so so easy to quit when things get hard, but I promised myself to focus these 21 days and get it done!

My overall goal is to create a better work/life blend and to not be so stressed out and feel so chaotic.  I don’t like the stress that it creates and neither does my body!  I absolutely love my life, but I don’t like feeling spun out of control.

So how am I doing with that?  Ehhhh to be totally transparent and honest, I don’t feel like I’m doing that great.  I yelled Tuesday. (So much for being calm amongst the chaos).  I felt like that meme where Mary Poppins is all, “Let’s go!” and then 20 minutes later Batman voice yells “LET’S GOOOOOO!!”  It was a crazy early morning as Bradley had his final “Helper Day” at preschool, which I still had to buy snacks/drinks for AND I had his parent conference at 8:30.  Since I had made a choice to go to a favorite workout class the night before at 6pm, it made for a later bedtime.  I solo parent on some evenings as per my husband’s schedule, and for the last 6 years, I pretty much let the kids’ dictate my routine.  Well, since I’ve started putting ME first a few times more, it’s an adjustment for ALL.  I sometimes feel counter-productive, as in maybe if I just do what is always best for kids and husband, then I can keep the peace…but the reality is, I feel like I’ve woken up to a new light.  What if I die tomorrow? Did I get to do what I wanted to do?  I get that being a parent is all about selfless-ness and giving, giving, giving even when you don’t feel like giving any more, but I also see the need to fill my cup.

I used to think filling my cup was a once in awhile thing.  But I’m realizing I do need to give more attention to me, a lot more.  The “Do You List” has been SO helpful.  It’s been eye opening because I’ve noticed that I don’t feel guilty when I do the dishes, fold the laundry, clean the rooms, scrub the toilets, braid the hair, brush the teeth, iron the work clothes, cook the eggs, do the grocery shopping, prepare the meals, walk the dog, work on real estate, cuddle…but when I consistently do things that make me, just Jenn, not anyone else, happy, I feel bad. So I am learning to push through that uncomfortable feeling and see where it takes me. ** This is what Lindsay would refer to as your IMG (Inner Mean Girl) I didn’t think I had any (haha!) but once I listened to her videos, took notes and reflected I realized I am so a people pleaser and then some.

I’ve created my daily habit of meditating 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes at night.  I find the morning to be harder than night–I actually love listening to a meditation and falling into a nice quiet sleep…I am also noticing perhaps I would do better with a mid-day meditation?  I may play around with this.  My morning routine is not exactly pristine.  My body is fighting me for sleep!! (I’m blaming the uber hard workouts I do some days!) Either way, I am seeing the need for it. Slowing down is helping me A LOT!

I’ve also started saying a daily mantra: I live a calm and intentional life.  (I’m finding Rachel Hollis’ Start Today Journal methods kind of intertwining here!) Basically, you say things in present tense, as if they’re already happening.  There’s a huge brain connection (I’m not getting scientific here, but there’s huge research done on this!) Lindsay does a great job at explaining it in her course, so it’s not all hokey!

So all in all, in just a week I’m noticing huge differences! Even though I felt like I was struggling a bit yesterday (Tuesday) I love that Lindsay has a closed Facebook group where we can share our thoughts.  We were to share what we are grateful for, so I did, but I also was real and said how things were getting hard.  Her response, “I know you want things to change now, but it’s a process. Just keep showing up like you’re doing (even though you feel overwhelmed I know) and it will get better.”  I know that I needed to hear that because I always want to rush things and sometimes, most times, we need to let things go at their own pace and fall into place as they will.  I know I’m so, SO hard on myself and I need to lighten up (a lot.)

All amazing things happen outside of our comfort zone, right?  Well I am certainly stepping out of mine and cannot wait to see what’s to come.  Just don’t quit, right?

Fall Beauty Must Haves!

I am such a girlie girl.  I absolutely love makeup and all things beauty related.  I am not a beauty guru by any means, and I was brought up in a “less is more” household.  I was raised not really wearing any makeup.  Bonne Bell chapsticks, a little cover girl blush and my eye lash curler got me through high school.  In college I overplucked my brows and wore way too much white/shiny eye shadow.  Thanks to Britney Spears!

However, as I have gotten older I do find the joy in applying makeup and using great skincare products since I am 37, not 22.  I have never had Botox, but am not against it.

This past Spring I decided to switch from Mary Kay skincare to a more natural, botanical line which happens to be a Stella & Dot sister company.  Ever Skin Care has done nothing but better my skin!! I haven’t had any crazy breakouts and honestly feel like my skin actually has a glow to it.  I do use makeup wipes to take off my makeup with every night and I just started using this Trio into my routine.  I love the beauty water, which cleanses and removes makeup.  The brightening gel is amazing and I am really loving the priming moisturizing cream.

I also use their tinted moisturizer daily as I don’t like to wear a foundation. (not pictured)

They just launched a few matte long lasting lip colors.  I have been a HUGE fan of their plumping nude glosses for every day.

I tried this long lasting matte and it does last for awhile! I will say that I felt like it was a tad drying, so I need to work on keeping my lips moisturized.  It’s a super pretty color, this is Crush.

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My friend Jenna sold me on these two products!  This I saw HUGE results with.  An instant glow and rejuvenated face for sure!  They do sting a bit around my nose, but nothing terrible.  I don’t use them every day but when I do, my skin looks and feels fabulous.  It does have witch hazel which my friend Elizabeth told me could be a bit much on sensitive skin, but as long as I don’t use it daily it seems to be fine!

I was a really big fan of Younique’s Rose Water as a toner, but honestly after they changed the glass bottle to plastic, I was meh over it.  Jenna also recommended this to me and WOW!!  This stuff smells so good and I use it as a toner or even a mid day spritz to refresh!

If you are local, she knows her stuff and is excellent at what she does.  Show owns Mint Skin Spa in Spencerport and I swear, before the end of the year I am booking a lash tint and lift with her!!

The Younique gals never steer ya wrong!  Use the chapstick (vanilla) then line with Prim which is actually an eye pencil, followed up with a liquid lipstick called Stellar. Shop those products here!

And this is a bit blurry, but again I used Younique, it was palette 2!  Here I have on my beloved Lipsense, I believe in Sheer Berry.  I just love a good bold lip for date night!  I still curl my eyelashes daily and I am obsessed with Younique’s Epic Mascara.

Never forget the brow powder either! I got mine years ago at my brow place.

As for my hair products, I have been trying something new, which I will blog ALL about soon!  (Icy blonde, anyone!?0 I’m using the purple shampoo, by Joico found at Ulta or Amazon.  I curled my hair with my chi straightener.

And lastly, I may not be 19 any more, but goodness gracious I still love me some good old fashion Bath & Body Works Fall scented lotions.  They may have chemicals and I try not to use them all year, but once in awhile? Yes. Yes. Yes.

What are your current favorite Fall beauty must haves?!