Wellness Wednesday: Life Coaching

I think anyone who knows me, knows that I love bettering myself.  Anyone who truly knows me, realizes that I am not perfect and that I have a huge heart.  I love taking care of my family, being able to stay home with my children, run a beautiful home with two crazy dogs and cook meals all day long.  But at the end of every day, I still want to take care of ME.  Being a momma, running a real estate business and a wife to an extremely hard working man is a lot! I do a lot of it by myself, with the help of sitters and the occasional family member here or there.  While I have an abundant life and so many blessings, I don’t want “die with the music still inside of me.” That was a Wayne Dyer quote I heard many years ago.

I have big hopes, goals and dreams and Joe and I often joke we wonder if any of “it” will be enough.  We are never bored, we don’t watch TV, and we have this burning desire to seek so much more out of life.  What other businesses should we create? How many more people can we help? Where else can we travel to and experience new cultures?  We want to expose our children to so many beautiful opportunities.

My head spins and I have ALL OF THE THINGS I want to do before I die and where the heck do I even start?!

My mind starts going and I get started on some new adventure, and then I eventually shut down and back off.  Any time I start something just for me, I tend to implode. There wasn’t enough time, or the baby needed that, or our business this…

No more.

Enter in, Life Coaching.  Yup.  I am smack dab in the middle of week one and HOLY SMOKES have my eyes been opened up real wide.  So many things friends, so many things to tell you!  I’ve taken a few assessments and honestly have spent a lot of time with just myself.  (It’s weird and beautiful!) Some things I was well aware of (I’m an empathetic person) and other things I’ve begun to see like that I tend to self-sabotage, as I mentioned above.  I am starting with Lindsay’s 21 day course titled, Life Luvers. 

I’ll be honest, there have been a few uncomfortable moments.  There have already been a few times where a thought slips through my mind and I hear “Maybe you can’t do it.  Who do you think you are? What makes you special?”  And then I breathe in really deep, shove those negative comments aside and keep pushing.  And digging.  And thinking. And realizing: I can.

One of the road blocks I know I have is time, so I will be very aware of my social media usage, my ‘down time’ and I’ve already begun using timers.  I will use that pretty planner above and really hone in on when I can work on ME. Another area I want to work on is being okay with not being liked by others.  My mood ebbs and flows on this one.  Sometimes I don’t care and I say, do, and post what I want when I want.  Other times?  I worry, I think too much, I over analyze and become frozen. I go radio silent and into a weird space. I don’t want that to happen any more.

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I know it’s only the beginning of my little journey here but I am already seeing big strides.  I want to share as much as I can, as this blog has always been a wonderful outlet for me. I will share on my Instagram stories more as we continue going further into coaching.  I am in this for the long haul! I am putting it out here into the universe and holding myself accountable.

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Follow this “highlight” for more on my life coaching experience!! 

Yes, I am a wifey, a mama and a real estate investor, a reader, a writer, a life long learner…but mostly? I am a woman who, when on her deathbed, will look back and say, I did not die with my music still inside of me.  I lived my life to its fullest and truly followed my passions, lived calmly and peacefully, and with zero regrets.

If you’re wondering if coaching is for you, Lindsay has a free assessment you can take here!  I will be sharing weekly my progress here on the blog. I figured “Wellness Wednesday” will be a good fit and I’ll go into details about my wins, ‘a-ha’ moments and some struggles as much as I can.  I believe in being an open book, but I also know that sometimes I need to work through things by myself.

Have you done any life coaching?

Podcasts

I absolutely love listening to podcasts! I will admit there’s a part of me that doesn’t like them ONLY because I set high goals to read a lot of books in the year, and even though I’m learning, a podcast is not a book. Maybe I need to set a podcast goal too~ (or not.)

Either way, here are the podcasts you will find on my iphone.

My current listen: this amazing powerhouse of a woman– Lindsay Preston. She’s a life coach helping tons of ladies become better versions of themselves. The free nuggets she gives away on her podcasts are life changing; no joke you’ll feel like you can go out and kick some major butt after one listen!

And she Rises the F Up – this is all about going after what you want, working on your money manifestation and recognizing your higher power. This is probably the newewst podcast I have started to follow. This little lady does NOT keep things PG so it’s an ear bud kind of listen.  She has a lot of solid advice and honestly I feel better about money when listening to her.  Money/finances seem to be such an interesting topic in our society and she helps validate why it’s more than okay to be going after what you want.

Earn Your Happy– I listened to Lori Harder’s book called A Tribe Called Bliss, and it was decent.  This podcasts mimics that and she does have a lot of great people on here that she interviews.  She focuses on self love, really loving life and generally being the best version of yourself.  She’s a badass and wants you to be one too!

The Mentor Podcast- This will fall under the “Real Estate” inventory of my podcasts.  Ron LeGrand is our great mentor and we have learned many a thing from this man! He has a ton of financial gurus, entrepreneurs, real estate experts and just overall another great avenue to learn more from him.  My husband honestly connects with Ron a bit better than I do, but I do learn a lot by listening.

Rise Podcast:  If you’ve been here for awhile, you know me and my girl Rach go way back…to her first book.  I adore her and Dave and listen to them on their daily live FB/Insta stream as well as their different podcasts.  She has wonderful in depth interviews both male and female, and there’s always a good take away from them!  She even reads certain chapters/excerpts of her books, so if you’re on the fence, check out her FREE podcast.  Trust me, you will want to buy them!

 

Real Estate Investing for Women – is exactly what it sounds like.  Often times it seems like real estate is a male dominated community.  I love how she breaks it down and ties in real life women moments, and relates to me on so many levels.  Even if you’re on the fence about dabbling in real estate, it wouldn’t hurt to download this one for free!

The Real Estate Investher Show – clearly another real estate podcast.  I love that this one is two ladies who go back and forth sharing their real stories and also involve guests on their show.  It helps to hear a woman’s perspective, especially married mama!  I sometimes feel like a lunatic and just hearing that there are other ladies feeling the same feels, makes me feel better.  Must listen if you’re looking to grow your finances!!

Style Your Mind- the famous Champagne Diet blogger/author has one of my favorite podcasts. I heard Zig Ziglar say that it’s good to listen to motivation when you’re feeling down, but it’s even MORE worth it when you listen to it feeling great! I try to do that, especially with Cara’s work.  She really gives me a kick in the ass, but also fuels my fire.  I feel like I can go and do whatever next hard thing comes next.

Rise Together- this is Rachel Hollis and her hubby Dave.  They have a great dynamic and I will be honest, I just listen to their daily live streams.  I haven’t listened to this podcast in a few months.  Again, if you love her take charge, no BS approach, this is for you!

Your Virtual Upline– is a must for any direct sales consultant!! I found it through a friend when I was doing Stella & Dot. I have not listened to him in probably close to a year? But he does add a lot of value.  Great content and I always took away some sort of nugget.

The Sandwhich – Amanda Muse is sooooo down to earth and funny! She’s a Canadian mama of two is a You Tuber and I just love her.  She’s all about #thefutureisfemale and shares her day to day life via vlogs and instagram stories.  Her podcasts allows her to get a little more intimate or in detail on whatever topic she feels like discussing.  She is so body confident and sharing how important it is to just be happy no matter what.

The Melissa Ambrossini Show- Author of Mastering your Inner Mean Girl, she is also a fantastic motivating listen!  I love hearing stories of her and her guests.  She focuses on finding motivation no matter what!  I need to listen more…

Time to Parent- To be 100% honest, I have no flipping clue. I must have downloaded this because someone I trust recommended.  Have you? LOL

 

Happier–  We all know Gretchen as the happiness guru.  That’s as far as I’ve gotten!

Dirty John – Again, heard it was great, no clue why, haven’t listened.

Wayne Dyer– he passed a few years back, but from time I really feel the need to hear his voice, soak up his wisdom.  He is definitely one of the many keys that I feel help “open me” up to self-improvement.

Sex with Emily– pretty straight forward, I don’t think I need to explain much.  She talks about sex etc.

 

Oprah Super Soul Conversations:  Oprah is like the mecca of all things great and wonderful.  She is someone that comforts me just by hearing her voice; I think it’s because I grew up hearing her every day around 4pm.  I only wish I listened more to what she was saying!  She’s always suggesting a new read or way of thinking about life. If you’re an Oprah fan, this is for you.

Chalene (Build your Tribe) – I just love her and used to listen to it awhile ago.  She is to the point and full of spunk! She talks a lot about being a great leader etc.

What are some of your favorite podcasts? I feel like I need to find some new ones to add to my list.

 

Getting Quiet

If you happen to follow me on Instagram you may (or may not) have noticed I haven’t posted in a week.  If you know me well, Insta is my favorite slice of social media.  I started blogging back in 2011 and I believe it was that year that Instagram made its debut.  I loved my little blogging/insta community. It was real, raw, and pure.  Friends from all over could share their photos instantly with adorable captions.  I had so many amazing connections with women over fashion, food, family, husbands, you name it!!

Fast forward to 2018 and my feed was filled with overly airbrushed images, ads to buy something and picture perfect squares of everyone’s perfect lives.  I knew that when I would scroll, put the phone down and then only to pick it right back up and scroll again, it wasn’t making me feel good.  I kept brushing it off because I still do have some amazing, inspiring and uplifting people that I follow—but that wasn’t how I was left feeling after looking at Instagram.

Instead of feeling empowered, I felt insecure, jealous, envy and literally joy was being sucked out of me.  I’d wish that my house was more perfect, that my kids could strike amazing poses for photos and that I must not really be inspiring anyone because, well? To be honest, I was hung up on the numbers.  I don’t have 21k followers.  Hell, I don’t have 1,000.  And I was beating myself up.  I must not be helping enough people.

Regardless, I was going through a low point, feeling sorry for myself, oh woe-is-me, playing the victim, and if I’m being brutally honest? I was ready to go to a Dr and ask for a little magical pill that would maybe make me feel happier.

All because of Instagram? No.  Absolutely not.

But I can say that taking a little fast from Instagram, helped me quiet my mind, soul and allowed me to truly listen.  I have never been addicted to anything, but I believe that I had a problem with incessantly checking this silly app! So once I removed it off my phone, a lot of things happened.

Instead of mindlessly scrolling, I picked up a book:

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This book seemed to speak to me and allow me to reflect on what the hell was going on inside my mind.  I didn’t read it cover to cover, but I don’t think that I needed to or was meant to.  I got what I needed out of it.  People need other people in order to not only survive but also thrive.  Staying home I clearly don’t get as much social interaction as I used to when I was a teacher, but somehow I stopped going out pretty much all together.  I’d get the groceries.  Visit my husband at his work.  Do the school drop off/pick up.  Take the kids to the occasional park or library.  Dance class.   But when was the last time I did a mommy meet up?  Play date?  Had fun with the kids some place other than home?

I immediately decided to take the kids to the Museum of Play that very next day since Brooke had a day off.  We had so much fun.  While they played in the “Vet clinic” for no joke, 45 minutes, I decided to look up the local gyms in my area.  Interestingly enough, the gym I was interested in was having a $1 sign up fee and $20 a month membership.  What?!  You know what I did? I took immediate action.  Why? Because that is how you conquer fear.  Anxiety.  Stress.  You do something. Anything!! After we left the museum I went straight to the gym and signed up. I knew that the classes would be excellent for me, I’d be more social and around happy, energetic and healthy people.

Know what? It’s working.

I’m not saying that medicine is a bad thing; if you honestly need anti-despressants or anti-anxiety meds then definitely take them!  I was at my OBGYN’s office Wednesday of last week telling him about how I had been feeling.  It seemed to coincide with my monthly cycle.  The sadness, crying, overwhelm.  He suggested I figure out the root of my problem, come to a solution and execute!  If that didn’t work then he obviously suggested that I go and talk to someone and maybe explore medicinal options if need be.

I can’t explain why I was feeling the way I was.  I have a beautiful life and everything I have ever dreamed of.  I listen to positive podcasts.  I read leadership books. I was grateful, writing gratitude lists, trying to cling to anything that seemed to try and help pull me from that funk.  The guilt I felt about just not feeling happy or well, was becoming overwhelming and only when I took the bull by the horns and acted upon something did it all change.

While I have only been going to the gym for a week, my body, mind and spirit are in so much better of a place.  I feel as though I’ve cleared some cobwebs, decluttered the social media accounts I choose to follow and have really begun to listen to what matters most.

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I’ve also started to listen to a little meditation on you tube each morning. Maybe about 10 minutes or so, and I just allow myself some time to wake up and listen to good things.  I feel like it helps our crazy morning routines go by with more ease, less stress and certainly more smiles.

As women, we can sometimes take other people’s problems on as our own.  It’s our job as a mom to fix boo boos, wipe tears and lend an ear.  I tend to be overly empathetic and while I know watching the news isn’t great for me, I didn’t realize how much toxic energy I was absorbing through social media apps.

I’m a little apprehensive in sharing all of this publicly, but as Brené Brown keeps speaking into my ear, the power lies in vulnerability. (I’m currently listening to her newest book, Dare to Lead.)  So I suppose I am sharing all of this on my blog so that if you’re feeling stressed, sad, overwhelmed or just not happy, I am suggesting that you get quiet.  I went and got a pedicure and put my phone down.  I read some of a book.  I listened to that still small voice that I don’t make enough time for.  It’s never too late to start something different.  To make one small change.  One step leads to so many more. After you get quiet, I also highly suggest you force yourself to work up a sweat.  10, 20 or 30 minutes whatever–get your body moving! Just as we were intended to be social creatures, our bodies crave movement.

I think I’ll be taking more “social media cleanses” and I know that checking myself has done more wonders than I could have imagined. Once I realized that time is our biggest gift and the one thing we can never ever get back, I knew I had to be more strict with my time.  Where my time goes, my energy flows.

 

And of course, in Jenn fashion, there are a few quotes that really resonated with me…

 

 

 

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You matter. You are beautiful.  You are strong.  You are brave.  You are real.  You are living this one life that is truly a gift.  When you fall down, brush yourself off and get back up.  You are not a victim; you and you alone are responsible for your happiness.  Happiness is your birthright.

All my love,
Jenn

Turning 37

I am 37!!

Holy cow.   I cannot believe I am so close to 40. (I still can’t believe I’ve made it this long without Botox, what is going on!?)

I have always loved my birthday ever since I was a little kid.  My parents did a great job of always making us feel special and enjoying our day (month!)

I remember growing up I’d request my mom’s Stuffed Shells and a homemade German Chocolate Cake.  Sometimes we’d go out for Mexican too!

This year we were supposed to go to an outside twinkling lights fancy dinner put on by one of our favorite local restaurants, Good Luck.  Unfortunately, as beautiful as a Summer that we have had, it was predicted to rain 7/24, the night of the dinner.  We were both really looking forward to it, and hope that we can try it again sometime!

We still kept our sitter and decided to hit up my favorite restaurant, The Revelry.    We go there a lot and love the staff, the food and the ambiance is always fun.   As soon as they heard we were celebrating my birthday, out came two glasses of complimentary bubbly.

Cheers to that!

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We started with the oysters (obvi!) and I went with the burger which did not disappoint!  Joe usually get Duck, but there wasn’t one on the summer menu so he enjoyed a pork chop.

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We kept laughing and saying, “it better rain if our other dinner got cancelled!” and rain it did.  Just drizzle, but still it wouldn’t have been enjoyable to sit in and try to dine on a wine pairing & 6 course meal outside!

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We went for a little drive around the lake and honestly listened to this Jim Rohn recording.  It’s a 20 minute listen and totally worth every minute!

 

I kept tearing up thinking how happy we were, how good our business is going and life is just getting better.  We reflected on my 36th year and the challenges we faced and how good it felt to be on the other side…

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On my actual birthday, my sneaky hubby set up a sitter and sent me to the spa for the day!  It was a really relaxing time away to recharge and spend time alone.

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He arranged to get out of work early and had fancy dinner plans with my family, but things happened and we ended up heading to Mexican & Margs.

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My sister was able to join us still and we made the most of it, because what else can you do when life throws curve balls?

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Both kids got a kick out of the Spanish “Happy Birthday” song and the sombrero they brought over.

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Not to mention the ice cream that accompanied the song and hat!

 

I’m not going to lie, I was on quite a “high” and so excited to turn 37.   I had this feeling of, “I can do anything and all things, and this will be an amazing year–nothing bad will happen and life is perfect–!”

But reality is, life is never perfect.   I will have moments of joy, sheer bliss, and bubbles of perfection, but rolling into my 37th year, literally on the day, we’ve experienced bumps in the road.  And while I thought I had my semi-perfectionist ways under control, I’m once again being put in my place, humbled and always continuing my learning and growth.

I have noticed that I have been severely hard on myself lately and I’m working through that; I’m leaning back into some meditations, breathing exercises, yoga practices & listening to my personal mentors, especially Gabby Bernstein.  I need to not judge myself for every imperfection, and go back to my ‘word of the year,’–

BE.

I believe that we are taught lessons over and over (and possibly over) again until we learn them.  So I will brush myself off, and get back up again.  “The enemy attacks those who are next in line for a promotion…”

So for 37, my major goals are to

  • live in the present
  • forgive (myself & others) quickly
  • stop comparing
  • be more grateful
  • stop complaining
  • be happy
  • rest, but don’t quit
  • work on my writing
  • nourish my body with food that is good for me
  • sweat daily
  • spend quality time with my children
  • continue working on myself
  • work on our real estate business
  • wake up early
  • stay connected, calm & centered
  • get outside in nature, daily, no matter what!

Girl Code {Book Review}

TGIF lovies!!

I don’t know about you, but this week tried to kick my butt.  Seriously.  I am super glad Friday is here so that we can get to the weekend! It continued to snow all week, nothing stuck but my booty is frozen from trying to get the puppy to go outside and I’m so over it!

I am extra excited that our first book club meet up is tonight.  We are hitting up the wine bar around the corner from my house and I’m sure that it will be awesome to get out for awhile, chat bout #momlife, girl talk and I’m pretty dorky so I’m sure that we will talk about books too!

I have my list of books I’ve read so far in 2018.  This book, Girl Code was book 11 of 52!

I have the hard copy that my girl Lindsay gifted me, but I just never made an effort to pick it up, so I decided to try it on audible and I LOVED it!! I am so glad that I have the hard copy honestly, so that I can go back through from time to time.

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Clearly the author had me at her blog/brand, “The Champagne Diet.”  You know I love me some celebratory bubbly and if you’re a girly girl like me, her verbiage will speak to you too.  She is witty and cleverbut it’s not all glitter and champs.  She really is a fantastic business woman; there is something powerful about a female entrepreneur. She is also a Master Life Coach and just has so much valuable information to share.

 

What I loved most about this book were the interviews with other leading ladies.  Each gal had her own little story to tell and it’s nice to know we girls are never alone.

As per usual, the English teacher in my comes through and I had several quotes speak to me.

The first quote was, “Her success is not your failure.”

Whoa.

She was referring to those moments where we scroll through social media and find ourselves getting mad or jealous when we see other girls living their best lives. You know, that girl who promotes to the highest level in her company.  The bombshell who is flaunting her perfect body on a beach in the Caribbean. Whatever your trigger is, realize that just because she succeeded at something, doesn’t mean you’re a failure.

I guess I had not thought it through like that, but yes!  Sometimes I do find myself feeling awful, simply because she’s making a dream come true and I’m probably in day old sweats, 4 day hair and cleaning up poo.   Maybe I’m not exactly where I want to be (literally or figuratively!) but that doesn’t mean I’m a failure!

Each of our journeys is so unique and it’s super hard and tempting to compare ourselves to others on social media.  The highlight reel is great, but it took a lot of hard work, sacrifice and dedication for these people to get to show off their rewards.

“Why be envious when you can have the same, or not more?”

I feel like that kind of piggybacks off of the first quote.  Jealousy comes in all shapes and sizes, but instead of sitting there hating on someone, turn it around and really think about it.  What’s stopping you from having what she has?  Couldn’t you even have more? There is no limit in life.  We can make as much money as we want, there’s certainly enough to go around.  Most of these #bossbabes are most likely not choosing #netfilxandchill, so if that’s what you find yourself doing on a weekly basis, maybe it’s time to switch out some habits.  That’s what I tell myself when I start seeing posts and feeling less than.

“They don’t serve champagne at pity parties.”

Which leads me to my next favorite quote from this book.  Sure, you have a moment where you’re down and not feeling super fabulous.  I try to tell myself, it’s ok! Feel what you are feeling, but then get over it.  Sitting around moping and crying and doing the whole, “whoa is me” thing doesn’t get us anywhere.  Misery loves company, so you’ll attract that low vibe energy and miss out on some amazing opportunities.  I love me some champagne, so if I wanna be poppin bottles, I can’t cry too big of a river.

The last thing I took from this book was really what Oprah would call an “Aha moment.” The concept of a “Seasonal purpose vs a life purpose” really resonated with me.  Sometimes I get all caught up in “my purpose” and start a freak out session.  I dwell on the fact that thousands of dollars were spent on an Undergraduate and Masters Degree to teach here in NY.  I taught English for 8 years, but don’t really any desire to go back into that teaching world now.  I know that raising our babies and staying home was/is my purpose.  As we are nearing the end of that ‘stay at home’ period, I’m starting to really develop a new vision of where I want my life to go and what I’d like to spend my time doing.

This idea of a seasonal purpose just makes so much sense to me.  We are evolving creatures and the more we learn, the more we grow.  Our minds can take us anywhere and if we place all this pressure on ourselves to only have one purpose, it just sucks the fun out of life.  This is my opinion at least; I love knowing that I can keep developing into better versions of me and that as I grow older, my life’s purposes will too.

I haven’t read her other books yet, but I am definitely keeping them in mind! I love a quick listen, and this was a great one to hear.  If you’re in direct sales or in business for yourself in any fashion, I highly recommend this book.  If you’re not into champagne and some of the couture glitz and glam, I think you could still get something out of this book, if you have an open mind. It clearly spoke to me and I will be flipping through these pages again and again!

 

Happy reading my friends!