Post Life Coaching Feels

I’ve been a few weeks out of my Life Coaching experience with the amazingly talented Lindsay Preston, and I wanted to give a bit of an update.  I wanted to let myself absorb back into my ‘new normal’ and WOWZA.   That’s about the only ‘word’ that comes to mind when I think about my life right now.

If I am being honest, I have been having a bit of trouble putting words on paper (or blog) for how I feel.  I know that it was not a little pill or a magic wand, so I understand why I do feel so different, (in a good way too!) but it’s hard to truly explain the awesome that is, when we take the time to work on ourselves.

Transparent moment:

2 years ago, my husband was turning 40, we were running this newer company with our real estate, changing everything from one thing to another. I had a 2 year old, a 4 year old, poor relationships with my family and his, and I felt so lost.  I look back at photos and though I was in great physical health (still trying to work back to that bod!) really, I was so sad.  I felt like I had no control over anything (hello, we don’t always have control Jenn, and that’s ok!) but also I was leaning in trying to “find Jesus” and be saved or something. {It didn’t happen.}  I learned to just trust and wait the process of life, and honestly just keep going.  Through a lot of communication, life did get better, but fast forward to last year, and again, I would have these moments where I just felt paralyzed and couldn’t figure out “WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?!”  I’d have these highs and lows of how great and amazing life was, and then crash, something bad would happen and I’d falter and stumble and feel like I failed at life. Dramatic much? Yes.  But the truth is, in my 38 years here on earth, life is exactly that.  There’s going to be a whole lotta good that comes to us, and things to celebrate; life is meant to be beautiful and abundant.  But we wouldn’t understand how amazing it is, if we didn’t have some bad.

With Lindsay’s life coaching, she can’t take away our problems or solve terrible situations.  What she did do for me though, was give me the tools to help me when those bad times arise.  The times when I start to slip or feel not good enough.  The moments when I start to doubt myself or start to snap at my husband or kids for really “no apparent reason.”  I don’t blame my hormones, the weather, the food, my lack of workouts any more, nope.  It’s me.  And it’s not for “no apparent reason.”  There’s good reason why you are yelling, crying, feeling so overwhelmed.  I’ve also started asking myself, “What is this teaching me?” When something is going wrong, or I’m experiencing a trial of sorts.  I used to hear that phrase and roll my eyes and now I live by it.

So what do I do? (note it happened yesterday & again today)

I stop everything as fast as I can.  I still do what needs to get done, but then you guys, I mean it, you just need to press pause.  

I get quiet.  Even if it’s in a room locking your dogs and kids out of it for 5 minutes. Talk out loud to yourself, to a friend, to your mom.  If you have more time, grab a journal.  Writing was always so wonderful for me, but for whatever reason I abandoned it. Finding this tool again has been LIFE CHANGING. Get whatever it is out of that system of yours.  You don’t have to blog publicly or video your feelings, if you don’t want to, but the important thing I have learned is to get to the root of your problem.  For me, it’s so powerful to use that tool of journaling to figure out what is really making me so upset. I give my IMG (inner mean girl) a voice.  Let her be heard and allow yourself to feel.  Then I move on!

How?? Well I will say that I went through a life-changing process to release past emotions and blocks.  These were things that I didn’t quite realize that were holding me back from becoming my true authentic self.  Again, it was not easy, but once I devoted the time, had the support from my coach Lindsay and close friends/family and especially my husband, I realized the sky was the limit.  The best part?  I have this process tucked into my back pocket for the rest of my life.  At any point I am feeling stuck, emotionally stagnated or like I need to get over it, I will repeat the lessons I’ve learned.

I’ve said it before, but I’ve read the books. I’ve listened to the podcasts.  I have watched the You Tube videos and followed all the people posting all of the things.  It’s not a quick fix, but the tools learned in the 21 day Life Luvers Course and then the Unstoppable package, have truly done so much good.  I’m able to commit to my goals, stay on track and not lose sight no matter how hard things get.  I’m still counting my “wins” as Lindsay calls them.  Yesterday, they were as big as getting myself out of the ‘funk’ I felt as I felt myself slipping.  Normally that would have taken me days you guys!! Another win was when my husband came home, he had a bit of a panic/freak out moment of all the things not so great happening in real estate.  I’m talking, legit, problems.  I calmly heard him, and the old me would have taken it personally, been upset, defensive, argued back, but instead I listened. I heard him, let him have his moment, and we moved on.  I was always such a stress case, the one who would worry so very much about every little thing, and now?  I cast the worries—aka I write them out, and write some more.  And then let them go.  I’ve become so connected with the universe and the divine, I no longer have the uptight feeling in my chest. No heart palpitations. No impulse need to buy things.  It’s blissful.  It’s work, but once you get to this other side, you want to work so very hard to stay here.  Even today I had some things come flying at me, but I knew I needed to stop, breathe, write, workout, and I totally pumped myself up with Rachel Hollis and then GOT MY WORK DONE.  The perfectionist in me likes to put things off for fear of doing it right or getting it wrong, but I just dove in.  Checked off the list. [I learned all of this through my work with Lindsay!!!!!]

I am finally at the point where I can lay my head on the pillow knowing that I did everything I possibly could have done for the day, and that is enough for me.  I am enough for me.  It may have taken 38 years to feel this calm and intentional presence, but it’s so worth all of the work.  We’ll spend so much money and time on makeup, workouts, fast fix meals, toys, gadgets, tv shows, accessories, clothes, alcohol etc.  But we won’t spend time or money on fixing, healing and working on ourselves.  However, when we invest in ourselves, everything changes.  Everything changes for the better.

If you’re still feeling like everyone else has found “it” and you’re running on E, take a chance on yourself and jump in on Lindsay’s next round of Life Luvers LIVE starting on Monday 9/9.  You can use my code JENN20 to get $20 off!! I promise, it’s $77 worth every penny!!  At the very least, please head to her site  (www.LindsayEPreston.com) to take her coaching assessment to see if you’d be good to work together so you can get in on that live group.  The value of the group coaching is HUGE with this, as you will feed off of the other ladies energy and momentum will skyrocket you to that next level you are looking for.

I am in no way shape or form getting paid from writing this, nor am I getting a commission off of anyone who signs up.  I’m just a girl who loves to blog.  I love life. I love being happy, and I love helping others find their way.  Just knowing maybe one lady will click her way to success, or love, or happiness from reading my heart here on this old blog, I know I’m living into my purpose.

There happens to be another course after Unstoppable, but at this time I am taking a break to focus on our business, the kids going back to school and my final year of being a “stay at home mom.”  I know that Lindsay’s door is always open and I know I’ll be taking advantage of her one on one calls (I have one scheduled this Saturday!!) to work through some blocks I see happening in my business.  I am forever grateful my life has lead me here, and I truly wish each and every one of my readers this feeling of bliss.

Get Still

If you’re feeling lost, confused, or just don’t know what on earth to do, maybe getting quiet will help.

Maybe sitting with yourself, no distractions, no noise.

It’s hard to do, this I know. Especially when you’re a mama to littles, but when you get quiet, things get clear.

There’s beauty in the chaos, but to see it you might need to get still.

Today

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Stopping by with a quickie today!!

I must say that my 21 day habits with my Life Coach Lindsay Preston during this Unstoppable Woman course are SOOO worth it!  I am not one to successfully complete something for x amount of straight days, without making an excuse.  Sure, I do stepbets, but they’re for 6 weeks and you get a day off in the week.  But here is something so powerful in doing the same thing for 13 days straight—I feel so empowered!  I also feel so much more at ease, I think because I’m doing a daily yoga practice.  I cannot wait to see how I’m doing after 21 days!!

My 3 habits:

1.) Daily Mantra: I am free to be me.

2.) 10 (or more) minutes of Yoga with Adriene.

3.) Blogging every day— have you noticed that yet?  🙂

I am content.  I am grounded.  I am satisfied.  I am happy.  I am rich.  I am loved.  I am strong.  I am healthy.  I am alive. I am free.  I am me. I am love.

 

What is one small habit you could do daily for 21 days straight? (Small, attainable and something to fill a need.)

Becoming Unstoppable: Getting Ready for Action

Phew!! Can I get a woop woop??

I’m feeling high on life my friends.  I am literally 1/3 of the way through my current Life Coaching program with Lindsay Preston.  I am getting quite a few comments or questions from friends who are intrigued, but don’t know if Life Coaching is for them.  It is.  If you think you have more to get or give out of life, then you do.  If you’re feeling stuck in your current business or life, then it’s time.  It’s time to stop drinking away the feelings, shopping away the fears, hanging out with the wrong people, becoming a zombie in front of your TV, or Ipad, or whatever.  Stop the madness people!! Sure it’s a “quick fix” but as Taylor Swift says, (and Lindsay uses the term bullet holes for a reason!) “bandaids don’t fix bullet holes.

In my last blog post, I opened up and shared some of my icky memories from my life.  I didn’t share what the feelings (bullet holes) caused, but we are going to work on fixing them.   The behaviors I have accepted in my past and allowed to continue into my present (and would most likely have allowed in my future) will be no more!! Unfortunately Lindsay doesn’t have a magic wand, but she sure seems like a fairy godmother to me!!  Week 4 was a tough one for me.  I had to face myself and take a quick assessment to see how many things I still tolerate in my life.  Out of a list of 20, you guys–I put up with 10.  TEN!! (one example is “it is easy for me to say no to people.) I consider myself a strong and independent woman, and this just broke me.  I started recognizing patterns in my life that I’m not happy with…and guess what? I have the power to change.  Yup.  It’s not going to be easy, but oh I can feel it’s going to be worth its weight in gold!

Another thing we had to look at was how we are meeting our needs.  Based on what needs we feel that we need to fulfill, we have created some goals and habits on how to reach them.  Not going to lie, this is the part that is firing me up.  I am not sharing my 21 day habits yet, but once I am in my routine, I will for sure share them and let you know how they’re going.  I have 3 that I will be doing daily for 21 days and I’ve been playing around with them and it’s feeling amazing already.

I have got to say the best and biggest advice/tool that I have learned has still got to be journaling.  Lindsay was pretty strict on this saying that we really need to write for 30 minutes a day, and I will be honest…I kind of doubted that it would really be that helpful. (oops) and what I have found out, is that by writing (not blogging, but in a personal space) I am giving my IMG a voice.  She can cry, rant, scream, swear, and be as negative and mad as she wants…and you know what happens then?  My authentic self started shining through–just like the sun shining after a terrible storm.  I swear there were rainbows.

I feel like I can breathe.

I see my future, I feel my present and I am so damn loving to myself right now, you guys, I went and bought a new bikini at Target today.  I loved on myself and all of my flaws. My soft belly, my stretchmarks, my less than perky post-breastfeeding boobs.  I embraced what I saw, and high-fived my damn self. I’m not perfect, but this is HUGE for me.  I don’t talk about my physical body imperfections much and I do try to stay healthy, but I will say usually my IMG tears me to shreds.  So the cellulite on the back on my legs?  It’s there.  But I know my strong muscles help me crush each and every day that I am alive.

So although my inner work has been, well, work, there is something almost magical happening.  I wish for every woman to feel this.  The more we can love and accept all of ourselves, the less we would get mad at strangers on the internets, or having squabbles in real life.  I am becoming a better mom, wife, woman every day.  I feel it in my bones.  Success isn’t a straight onward and upward motion.  I know that there will be a few steps forward and one step back.  It’s when I’m stepping back, that I am getting calm, focusing on what needs to be changed, so that I can go even further.  Now, I’ve done this time and time again by myself, but having an actual coach to work with me through this, is making all of the difference.  *cue the song…Don’t believe me just watch.

If this is something you’re craving, just take a chance.  See how amazing you can feel; if you’re not feeling that amazing…I’ve been there sister, I know it’s not fun.  There is a way and you can find it.  Perhaps you’re reading this right now thinking, what if?  Just take the leap.  Take Lindsay’s FREE assessment and get on that phone with her.  Shen won’t change your life, but she will coach you to do it yourself. Don’t forget to use the code JENN20 if you want to save $20 on the Life Luvers course!! 

Inner Mean Girl Vs. Authentic Self

Happy Thursday friends!! What a beautiful day to be alive.

I’ve been doing some real estate work, but took a quick lunch break here at home because I wanted to share my progress that I’ve been making with my Life Coach Lindsay Preston.

In week 3 we really went deep diving into our past experiences and ruffled up all sorts of things.  I told you how I had to write out my life’s “Timeline” and it had some not so pleasant things from my past. We all do though right? We had to pull our bullet holes as Lindsay calls them.  My parents’ divorce was a super hard one for me, as was my youngest sister getting into drugs.  I also realized that while I loved teaching and valued my education, when I got my Master’s Degree, I swept it under the rug like NBD.  Whaaaaa???  I remember Joe taking me to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants to celebrate and taking my photo while I held up my certificate.  But I remember NOT wanting to go to the ceremony to walk across the stage or inviting anyone to celebrate me.  Which is weird, because if you know me I love to celebrate and looking back this makes me sad.  I know that my family was in a pretty bad spot and I recall my middle sister graduating a few years prior and it was a disaster with the step-mom/dad and mom situation.  Either way, I realized that I have a VERY hard time enjoying myself if I am well aware that others won’t enjoy themselves either. I spend way too much time worrying about other people’s happiness than just focusing on my own.  Phew. That was a lot.  I also know how far I’ve come with my familial relationships.  No one is perfect, I get that, neither am I, hello, I am only human.  But the fact is we have experiences that may hurt us or leave us wounded and if we don’t spend time healing these wounds, they tend to continue showing up.  Examples? My dad and step-mom got married without my sisters and I knowing and/or being there.  My step-brother was there, but man did that one sting! I had to forgive and move forward on that one and it wasn’t easy.  Another biggie?  My mom didn’t come to my wedding.  Yup.  Pretty much the biggest day of my life and she wasn’t there.  Since that was almost 9 years ago, I’ve spent a lot of time working on healing that one as well.  Present day, I speak to all members of my family and we are all just doing our best.  I work on coming from a place of love, and try so very hard to use compassion when dealing with everyone. Why am I sharing this? Because we ALL HAVE OUR OWN ISH TO DEAL WITH!!  You can spend time crying and playing victim, or you can dig into that wound a little bit, feel the pain and eventually heal and move on.  I will say there are some people, family or not, that don’t play a role in my life and I’ve learned to accept that and be at peace with that too.

We spent time learning about our Inner Mean Girl (IMG) and who she is.  You may have heard this voice a time or two; it’s the one being negative, also known as the ego, limited beliefs, doubting yourself, correcting weaknesses, being fake or inauthentic.  She’s the one who will hold you back from being your true self, otherwise known as your Authentic Self (AS).

When you’re living in your AS, you are confident, original, aware, positive, loving unconditionally, and focused on your strengths.  I called this “being aligned” prior to my work with Lindsay, as I am a huge Gabrielle Bernstein fan.  What I didn’t realize was how normal it was to find yourself shifting between your IMG and your AS.  More importantly, I struggled with how to get out of my IMG and back into my AS. I didn’t know why this was happening, and that’s where this Unstoppable Course has really done me so much good.

One of my top strengths is Input, so I need to know all the things. I enjoy reading/researching and understanding how things work, but I have NEVER taken so much time to figure out how I work.  How is it that I have floated around for 37 years, fairly well, without truly getting to the core of ME?  I’m not sure, but I am ready to take myself to the next level.

Knowing the difference between My IMG and AS is so important for me to reach that next level. I have never labeled my “negative feelings” or understood why I would feel awesome for a bit and then slip back into a weird funk– NO MORE!!! The funks will be less and less and I can truly envision myself always being authentically me.

My two top IMGs: perfectionist and people pleaser. While I really thought I had my perfectionistic issues handled when I had my children — hello nothing goes as planned! But the reality is, I still beat myself up when things aren’t going ‘right’ or rather, the way I see that they should. I always have super high expectations of myself and others.  As demonstrated from my memories above, you can see that my people pleasing can go so far as to shrink myself and my successes, but this is coming to an end. I realize that there is enough out there for anyone to be happy, financially free and have whatever dream come true that she may be chasing; you just have to want it badly enough to do the time and work.  I believe that I am a nurturer by nature, which makes me an excellent mom and wife (especially to a man with Crohn’s Disease) but I also know it can hinder me from taking care of me.

One of the major takeaways after discovering my inner mean girls is that I’m always in control, my IMG is not. She may try to sabotage me, tell me not to post something, not follow through with a plan or idea, but the fact is she’s trying to protect me. I’ve been hurt (haven’t we all) through the years and I’ve built in some tactics to “keep me safe” but as we all know, safe means stunted. It means I can’t grow, change, take risks and see how amazing I can be.

Now that I understand my IMG, I know I can simply tell her that I’m fine and she doesn’t need to worry. When I’m living in my authentic self, I feel free to be me. That’s one of my mantras! I feel calm and intentional. I connect with people better, my relationships thrive, I come from a place of love and understanding vs a “the world is out to get me.” I recognize what no longer serves me and am at peace with the people and things I have let go.

If you’re starting to get an itch to see if you and Lindsay would be a fabulous match, head on over and take her FREE assessment and hop on her FREE call! Ladies I am telling you, no one wants to do the work, but everyone wants to rewards.  If you want to live into your best self with no regrets at the end of your days, wait no more.  I believe that if you’re reading this, it’s a sign that you should just do it.  Spend the $77 and put you first and become a Life Luver.  (Using code JENN20 to save that $20!!)

PS this was me, being my authentic self, opening up and sharing some pretty vulnerable moments from my past.  The work I have been doing on myself is truly showing me how amazing it is, to feel free to be me.