Wellness Wednesday: Self Care (my list)

I’ve been a slacker lately.  I’ve been neglecting the most important person in my life.  I haven’t been speaking nicely to her, I haven’t been letting her have fun.  I’ve been stressing her out, making her feel less than, and putting everyone and everything before her.  In some ways, I’ve ripped some bandaids off of her that needed to come off, but also took away some vices that are no longer serving her.  She’s felt a little lost, confused, lonely, transitional.  She’s been so consumed filling her days with endless chores, work, tending to children, dogs, a sick husband.  I let her slip through the cracks of the day where I used to let her shine.  Instead of allowing joy and passion, I restricted her fun times and made sure she was constantly worrying and working.  Instead of breathing in positivity and love, and exhaling negative emotions and draining feelings, I made her spill her cup until it was no longer full…and she just kept pouring even though there seemed liked there was nothing left.  I didn’t even put her on the back burner, I took her completely off.  I stripped away parts of her that were not really what she wanted, and instead of filling her soul with what she craves, I pushed her harder into motherly duties, housework, and fatigue.  But do you know what friends? Our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls are all connected.  They know when something is off, when we are not living out our true abilities.  And I began to listen.  I started hearing the still small voice saying go to acupuncture, eat the right foods, move your body, write freely, spend time doing the things that you love.  It took awhile for it all to start to come together, and after a tearful breakdown before my kids’ birthday party, I realized something really had to change.

Mamas.  The weight of the world that we bear on our shoulders can be immense.  No matter if you’re working from home, working away from home, or simply working hard at being a mom, there are so many reasons we burn out.  Our bodies will tell us when something is off and mine has been trying to tell me for some time…but how often do we just push away our desires, feelings, thoughts, frustrations, needs, wants etc because we just simply don’t have the energy or the time?  Well that is not okay.  We need to pull out our calendars, our iPhones, our day planners and schedule it in.  Not just “me time” but sincerely put it into a time slot and prioritize yourself.  Then do it again.  Then again.  Then again.  Watch your health increase.  Your mood get happier.  Your life seem to get easier.

Don’t just say, “Oh when the kids go to bed I’ll take care of me,” because if you don’t have a plan, like me, I get to the end of my day and I just feel like a zombie.  I’ll pull up some distraction of sort, and scroll until my eyes cross.  Then I’ll just go to bed.  Wake up and repeat.

Not sure what to do? Stop right now and take out your phone or better yet a piece of paper or journal and write down at least 10-20 activities that you enjoy doing.  They can be free or they can be experiences that cost you money. I shared a list previously here on this post last year, as this was part of the process when I worked with Lindsay Preston my Life Coach.  Interestingly enough, I was just chatting with my friend and neighbor Katie earlier and she was saying how the Blogilates girl was sharing how her weight went down more when she was doing things for herself like taking dance lessons, getting massages etc.  We hear it all of the time, do more self-care–but self-care is NOT selfish and honestly should be one of the first things we schedule into our day.  Rachel Hollis even said she’s writing a book right now all about making your health a priority and to move your body every day for 30 minutes.

My current “do you time” aka self-care list:

  • Blogging
  • Reading
  • Journaling
  • Working out
  • Morning Routine
  • Actually playing with my kids (puzzles, outside, with their toys, video games, reading books, board games…)
  • Yoga
  • Dancing
  • Mani/Pedi
  • Massages
  • Facial
  • Tea time
  • Girl Time
  • Date Nights
  • Trips & Travel
  • Sipping a Starbucks drink in a Starbucks.
  • Cooking/baking
  • Detox Bath
  • Walk outside
  • Dates with Brooke
  • Dates with Bradley
  • The beach (Summer)

The point is we become so consumed with daily needs of the world and neglect ourselves.  And in my humble opinion, when I start taking everything so seriously and don’t allow myself to have fun, life feels so hard and isolating.  Now some of these can be bigger things like vacation or fancy spa days, and those are great incentives to work towards! Others are free and simple–they just require the time for us to do them.

You are the most important person in your life! Without your health, no one else can be taken care of.  I know there’s a ton of haters out there who think ‘self care’ or ‘self love’ is a joke, but don’t concern yourself with them.  I send them love from afar, and hope that one day they’ll value themselves as much as they should.  Once again, I always believe that those that don’t believe in self-improvement are those who probably need it the most.

I’ve been fairly consistent with my morning routine, and I do count that as self care as I enjoy journaling, writing in my planner, reading a motivational book and I’ve been trying to make more time for blogging.   I know waking up early is not easy, but once you start waking up 10 minutes, try 30, 45, then 60 minutes earlier than normal.  It will become a habit and honestly my day always flows so much better when I take “ME TIME” in my morning.

I love rolling on this “Peace” essential oil, sipping some green tea and writing in my journal.  Sometimes I write about what’s on my heart, what’s frustrating me, what I dream about, where I see myself one day…

I just write.

The point is, no matter how old you are, or where you are in life, you can always change and evolve.  The beauty of life is that you get to do what you want with it.  Silly, I know, but I tend to forget that.  It’s not my mom’s life, my husband’s life, my kids’ lives, it’s MINE.  How do I want to look back on my days? What did I do to make myself happy and smile?  I never claim to be perfect, I fail every day at something…but that’s the secret. Stop trying to be perfect and just be you.  Embrace it all. Do what you can with what you have and try to figure out what it is that you want.  Start small, but just start somewhere.

What’s one way you will take time to fill your soul this week?

Five on Friday

I am linking up with Becky, Della,  Whitney,  and Tif for High Five on Friday!

1.) I am officially on Day 5 of my cleanse today.  Less bloat, more energy, no mindless snacking or shoveling all the things into my mouth.  No pumpkin chais—sad face– but I feel great! I honestly don’t remember the last time I cleansed, so that is usually a good indication of me really needing to ‘reset’.   I’d tell ya how much weight I’ve lost, but oh yeah, my scale died.  Bought new batteries.  That didn’t work.  So a new scale is on the way, thank you Amazon–can’t wait to try it out!  I really didn’t think I was eating ‘that bad’ but oh goodness, the sugar detox has been REAL!  All those starchy carbs, sugary lattes, cookies, cakes, breads, pastas…I was out of whack.  (PS my tank is linked here!)

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Post day 3 hump woo!

2.) Last 90 Days starts Tuesday!! I’m super pumped, and have been rocking the ‘Start Today Journal’ as part of my morning routine the last few weeks. I bought it back in November of last year, then Joe got really sick (we didn’t realize it at the time, how sick he was) and then holidays came and his Crohn’s was so bad that he ended up in the hospital.  I abandoned this little journal (and myself) and then found my Life Coach.  I spent so much time working with her until August.  I honestly just felt the need to pick it back up and start again! I can’t wait to fill it up!  I love it.

3.) Family Fridays.  I miss these.  I know kids need to be in school, but man the four of us have so much fun together in the Summer and on holidays!  Sure I need my mama breaks like everyone else, but I just love spending time with these two goofballs. I miss Summer already!  I am already dreaming and scheming how we will spend our holidays and breaks.  I want to visit more pumpkin patches, drink hot cocoa, visit the kids museum, go sledding…All the things!

4.)  We had another meeting to build our dream home.  We couldn’t find a sitter, so we were hoping that we could rely on some good old technology.  Unfortunately the cemented walls in the conference room made it for ZERO cell reception.  Meeting seemed to be a (very) small step forward (better than back?) and the kids did pretty well considering.  Onward and upward!  I am leaning into my faith on this one.  Building on your own lot is no joke! Patience is key and I continue to focus on my gratitude.  I was super frustrated after leaving the meeting, but then I turned on Joel Osteen (no, I don’t care if you’re a Christian and you think he’s no good, thanks though!) and as always, the very first sentence I heard him say, spoke to me.  God will take you through the fire sometimes, and he will make you fire proof. Other times, you will be delivered and not have to fight that battle at all.  I calmed down immediately and let go, to let God.

5.) ETST aka Kelle Hampton on the gram.  (Enjoying the small things). She’s probably my favorite account to follow.  She takes beautiful photos, is so creative and I just adore her.  She has three children and is so real, yet artsy.  Her page sparks joy, inspires and I never feel less than when being in her little space here on the internet.  She does this 15 minute shake down she shares on her stories and cleans up her kitchen, which resembles any families on an after dinner evening.  She’s great! I always leave her page wanting to be a better momma. She shared this last week and I MUST MAKE IT for my crew (and neighbor friends!)

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Back to School Routine

With back to school literally around the corner, I cannot help but think of routines.  I’ve never been one to follow a super strict schedule, but I do believe in the power of routines.  Babies thrive with them, children do well with them and I must say as an adult, I too crave routines.  It doesn’t mean you have to do the same exact thing every single day at the same exact time, but doing the same things daily do propel us further to success.

I thought I would share a few of my ‘routines’ with you!

Our morning routine was rather relaxed and I loved it that way.  We really had no obligations first thing in the morning other than getting Joe out the door to work on time and that was so very nice!  Next week will be an adjustment as Brooke will be out the door by 8:30, Bradley needs to be to school by 9 MWF and of course Joe works.  I take my job as a mama/wife pretty seriously, so I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to start my day, so that I can meet everyone else’s needs.

I know that for my day to be ‘successful’ and for me to feel at ease when my head hits the pillow, I wan to know that I did the very best I could.  Was I an exceptional wife?  An amazing mom?  Did I work on our business?  Did I prepare healthy meals? Did I do something that makes ME happy? Did I break a sweat? Did I do something special for someone else? We are never promised tomorrow, so I always try to make each day, my very best day.

Ideal Day:

6:00 Wake up! Drink pre-workout, journal, planner, blog, read (fill my cup!)

6:30/6:45 Iron clothes, let dogs out, feed them breakfast.

7:00 Push play on a workout.  I’m currently working through Morning Meltdown 100. They are all 30 minutes and under.

7:30 Wake up Brooke & Bradley, Get breakfast ready & make sure backpacks are good for the day.

8:00 Get Joe’s lunch/waters/vitamins/meds/breakfast ready. Make sure Brooke’s brushing hair, teeth, dressed well, etc.

8:25 Brooke outside to catch the bus, Joe leaves, Bradley brushes teeth/gets dressed.

9:00 drop off Bradley to school MWF

9:15-11:15 — Do I go grocery shopping? Shower? Work on our real estate business? Run errands? Walk the dogs?  Clean the house? Laundry?  I could also see me using this as some “do you time” — mani/pedi,  read a little, blog, if I feel myself needing a little something extra. There are also days where I go in and volunteer to be the helper at Preschool.

11:30 Pick up from Pre-K

12:00 lunch

12:30 Bradley quiet time/ABC Mouse, movie etc. while I work on our business or catch up around the house.

3:30 Tea Time — I brew a cup of tea and breathe!

4:00 Brooke’s off the bus, followed by after school snacks, homework, chores, play with neighbor friends, or dance class (one night a week.)  We may sign the kids up for a sport or swimming too, so this is just a rough idea of what life is like!

5:00/5:30 I typically start dinner. (I try so hard to meal plan to keep myself on track!)

6:30 Bath/shower

7:00 start bedtime routine, which consists of: Using the bathroom, brushing teeth, pjs on, quietly read books, I try to read books, and singing two songs before lights out.

The kids do best with about 11 hours of sleep per night it seems. 

My schedule is so wonky since I don’t have a 9-5, I have one kid mostly home, we run a real estate business that comes and goes with work to do.  I think sometimes I stress myself out because I have such a different lifestyle, but I do love it!  It’s just a lot different than what other people’s lives look like and that’s okay. I have learned to ‘bob and weave’ as Joe calls it, like when he needs a meal brought up to him or something! There are days when I feel like all I do is make call after call, or am at my desk for awhile. You just never know what pops up, like house fires, evictions, new buyers, new sellers, marketing, bookkeeping, it ebbs and flows so much!

What helps?

Once you figure out what your overall day looks like, find tools that work for you.

Planner. I am still a hardcore paper planner user.  I live by my calendar on the fridge, but I also write down nightly/daily what needs to happen throughout the week.   I am loving the Emily Ley Simplified Planner this year, and adore the new styles for 2020!  The daily planner has hour slots which has been super helpful for me to literally write out what and when I’m doing all the things.

Take a break! My daily “tea time” has been amped up since my bestie Ann sent me a Sipscription for my birthday!  It came with 4 different kinds to try.  You take a quick quiz and they send out teas they think you’ll enjoy, based on your answers. Check it out here! 

Workouts. I know I needed an under 30 workout for me to make these morning workouts happen, so I did commit to this.  I am currently on workout 30/100.  I don’t love the cardio ones, but I really enjoy the weighted workouts and the yoga flows.  My girl Lindsay and her crew keeps me accountable.  If you’re still looking for a good routine to sweat, check it out!

I hope a glimpse into my day may help some of you as you get ready to go back to school.  As you can see, I don’t give myself much ‘down time’ but I do best keeping busy my why is so engrained in me I don’t ever want to quit! I do enjoy podcasts or audiobooks while doing dishes/laundry etc.

We all have the same 24 hours in a day and we get to choose how we spend it.  I get it, some moms have to go to work outside of the house and some moms are in the newborn/infant stages, and if that’s the case, just worry about eating, sleeping & surviving!

Every new season of motherhood brings a new set of challenges but so many new blessings and experiences too.  If I’m being honest, this season is wonderful to me, but I also feel so weird because my babies don’t ‘need’ me so much any more!! I am getting more and more ‘free time’ because they’re becoming independent little souls who can do so much for themselves.  Of course, I fill the time up with working, cleaning, etc, but it’s an odd feeling to not be needed so much.  I’m also so excited for this new school year, but a twinge of sadness comes over my heart, as I love having them both home with me all the time.  Life is truly such a crazy beautiful ride and I am so blessed to enjoy these moments with my family.

What does your back to school routine look like?  Anything I should add or try out this upcoming school year?