Mindset Matters

It’s Friday beautiful friends!!

The sun is shining.

Hubby is at the land with Bailey girl.

I’m sitting on our back deck doing what makes my heart happy: writing.

Baby girl is at school, learning and having fun on her “Culture Day” and I’m allowing baby boy tablet time while I feed my soul.

It’s not easy, this whole self-care thing.  We have been so engrained to work, push, hustle, care for others, put everyone else first, bla bla bla bla. But friends, YOU MATTER.  Every time I see another mama doing some self-care I just wanna jump through the screen and hug her.  Yes girl.  Be a queen.  Meditate. Enjoy that glass of wine.  Do some yoga. Read that book.  Lay in the sun.  Relish in the massage.  Take that workout class. High five!!!  It’s amazing at how much more you can provide to the rest of the world after you’ve taken care of you.

I’ve been very attuned lately with the universe and the quiet messages it’s sending me.  This week is of course all about gratitude, but also just a little bit more. 

I was once told it (in so many words) it’s amazing that I cook all that I do in my not so fancy kitchen.  And I get it.  I don’t have 10 foot ceilings, white cupboards, light grey walls, marble countertops and tons of island space, double ovens, Viking stoves– you get the picture.

However, what I do have is a passion for taking care of my loved ones and a love for creating delicious meals that fuel our bodies.  I love chopping, stirring, mixing, baking and of course eating! When I play Frank Sinatra, pour a glass of wine and get to cooking, it never feels like work. Sure, I would love a big new fancy kitchen with all the bells and whistles, and it’s certainly on my vision board, but the fact is I know to enjoy the now.

At my chiropractor appointment this week we talked about this.  I feel like he not only aligns my back/body properly but also my heart and mind!  (Is it just me, or do you really find some people with the BEST energy and wanting to surround yourself with them all of the time?!) Anyway, he lives in a modest home in a nice, but busy area, and has his practice in the home he resides in.  He went on and on to tell me how much he’d love a big fancy house, new this and new that, but it also felt really great to be in the financial spot he’s in.  His son is going off to college in the Fall and essentially they are debt free at the moment.

I say all this because we can all get caught up in wanting more, the best of the best, and being unhappy and unfulfilled with where we are in life and what we have.  Now I’m not saying to not dream big and crush some big old goals, but if you’re not enjoying what you have right now, or feeling gratefully abundant in all that you do have, maybe your mindset needs a little shift.  God will not give more to us if we aren’t ready.  If you find yourself looking left and right and feeling sorry for yourself, it’s time to take a step back and truly be happy for all the blessings in your life.

It ebbs and flows, and there are times I wish we already had our home built on our land with a swimming pool and all the fixings, but I have learned that we must time in the timing.  It will happen when it’s supposed to happen.  Life seems to be one big juggling act with so many moving parts; but beauty will always be in the silence.

The sticky hands of little ones who helped bake with you in your not so fancy kitchen.

The cuddles of your small dog on cold day.

The peace and tranquility of enjoying what makes your heart happy.

The tapping of your fingers on the keys of a laptop.

The birds chirping sweet songs.

The warmth of the sun and the cooling of the breeze.

The radiant colors of the potted flowers.

The smile from your significant other after a long hard day.

These moments are what make us.

So if you’re feeling a little off, make a list of things that bring you joy and take some time to check them off. Go volunteer, if that’s on your heart.  Go bake your friend some cookies.  Visit that grandparent.  Send your mom a sweet text.  Write. Read. Bathe. Whatever it is that you need to do, get grateful and work on getting your mindset right.

Wellness Wednesday: Unstoppable Woman

I am woman, hear me ROAR!  Is it just me or does even the name of this course want to make you just jump up and scream?! In a good way of course.  Wowza ladies — I am entering into my 3rd week of The Become an Unstoppable Woman course with Lindsay Preston.  Can I just stop and say a few words?  And no, I’m not just blowing smoke, nor am I lying, but you guys, LIFE IS SO FREAKING GREAT!!!  Is it perfect?  Heck no.  I’m not looking for perfection though, I am working towards two (yup, just two!) goals at the moment.  These are my 90 Day Goals that I set with Lindsay on a personal VIP call with her.  (Totally worth every stinkin penny to get on that phone with this incredible woman!!)  Remember, a goal without an action is just a day dream. It’s important that your goals be measurable, attainable and within a time frame.

She took me step by step on crafting these goals.  The first goal kind of came out naturally as I had been thinking about it for a bit; I felt like it was something kind of gnawing at me from the inside out.  The second one took some time discussing with Lindsay thoughts that were swirling around in my mind.

My First Goal:

I will be able to communicate who I am at a level 10.  (scale 1-10) I will not hide/skirt around my needs/wants/desires.  At the end of 90 days I will be FREE TO BE ME.  I will live in my authentic voice and not worry about what others think about me. Right now I feel like my communication about me is at a 6; I am uncomfortable celebrating WINS and truly share what’s on my heart at times.

Mantra:  I am free to be me. 

My Second Goal:

By the end of Unstoppable, I’ll be at a 10 with my time management.  I will feel less chaotic, and there will be a flow with my days.  I currently feel like I’m at a 3– feeling unproductive, flying around the house/driving here, there and everywhere trying to keep up with everyone and everything with very little time “for me.”

Mantra:  My time is valuable. 

It took me some time to think of a good mantra, because I wanted it to be short and sweet, as well as effective!! I have noticed GREAT improvements with my mind just by repeating the original mantra I came up with in the Life Luvers course, I am worthy.  

{Remember you can still use code: JENN20 and save $20 and grab the Life Luvers course for just $77!!}

I will be totally honest and say that I kind of thought mantras were dumb.  I have tried affirmations before but they didn’t really do much for me and never really made me feel any different.  The only thing I can attribute this current success is that Lindsay’s course took me through a process (which is backed by neuroscience!) to really delve into my inner beliefs, subconscious thoughts and figure out why the heck I feel stuck!!

In module 1 we really discussed the need to write more.  Like a lot more.  Like every. Single. Day. More. 30+ minutes you should write and reflect.

Did you know writing can:

  • increase self awareness and you’ll feel less crappy?
  •  increase your thinking ability and you’ll be more authentic
  • “get you out of your own head”
  • reduce stress
  • open yourself up to self-love/compassion

I find it very odd when people don’t want to love on themselves, or think about what it is they truly want.  The biggest and most important relationship you can have is with yourself.  (I’m sure some will roll their eyes and say, no it should be with God but I’m not here to have a religious debate) and that’s fine.  But if God’s first, I sure hope you’re a super close second.  No one will be with you, in your mind, in your heart, and for the rest of YOUR LIFE.  If you’re unhappy, jealous, insecure, frustrated, feeling like the world is out to get your, mad at this person, ticked off about that…then you’ve got some work to do girlfriend. The good news? You don’t have to do it alone.

If anyone tells you that you shouldn’t work on you or ‘do you’ or spend time with yourself, I AM CALLING MAJOR BS!! That person most likely has some severe (and I mean SEVERE) IMG (inner mean girl) issues that she has not nor is ready to address.  I will say that it has been super hard for me to put myself first, as a mom and wife to a very busy/hard working man, I often leave myself off the to-do list.  I may not take the time to meal prep to eat like I should, invest time at the gym/exercise, enjoy quiet time with a book, write in my journal, tap my fingers on these old keys…and since taking Lindsay’s courses, something major has happened.  I feel as though I’m becoming who I am truly meant to be.

Another tool that’s been SO useful is what Lindsay refers to as “Do You Time.”

  • it is not selfish
  • it is needed
  • it is more than okay to prioritize yourself

My list of “do you time” includes things like:

  • Zumba class
  • blogging
  • reading
  • cooking/baking
  • walks outside
  • tea time
  • long hot shower
  • specific playlists (soft jazz or even some gangsta rap, depending on my moods!)
  • spa day
  • slowing down
  • taking photos

I’m so excited for this continued journey and am going to be opening up more on my next post about my personal ‘bullet holes’ aka, limiting beliefs that are causing me to not progress further.  They’re not fun to talk about, bring up, or even think about, but I am sharing my story here in hopes that it inspires another woman to be able to work more on herself.

I’ve been truly connecting with a divine presence lately and feel as though I am called to be more vulnerable, authentic and share some of my pains/hurts in hopes that it helps others.  If I can help even just one more woman out there, then I know my words here are not useless.  I am here to inspire, that is all!

(Sneak peek:  My timeline of my memories starts with me being born in 1981, my family, attending college 1999-2003, landing my dream job teaching, my parents’ divorce, a bad relationship/breakup, meeting my now husband, my Master’s degree, parental drama, and much more! I will reveal some of my ‘bullet holes’ from these memories.)

Don’t forget that Lindsay offers a free assessment for you to see if you’d be a good match to work with her and become a Life Luver or even better, an Unstoppable Woman! If you have any questions don’t hesitate to e-mail me jenndellefave@gmail and I’ll happily share more thoughts on this life coaching experience.

Maybe you Need to Read this…

Maybe you’ve been having some bad luck.

Maybe you’ve been told you can’t.

Maybe you’re holding onto some unknown belief or fear you haven’t tapped into you.

Maybe you think you’re not good enough.

Maybe you think you’re going to lose, fail or be made fun of.

I am here to tell you today that–

You are stronger than you think.

You are wiser than you know.

You are capable of so much more than you believe.

The sky is the limit, your mind will achieve what you tell it to.

Both of your bad days and good happen for a reason.

May your past be a lesson; learn from it well.

You don’t have to let the cycle repeat.

Every day is a new day to start fresh.

You don’t need anyone or anything to make you happy.

There’s a time to hustle, but also a time to rest.

You are worthy.

Your dreams, your passions, your desires–do not go to the grave with them still inside.

If you love to write, start a blog.

If you love to dance, join a class.

If you love to sing, buy a microphone and blare those speakers!

If you love people, become more involved.

If you love to cook, get in that kitchen!!

So often we allow ourselves to get bogged down by the “shoulds” of the world, or the crazy endless activities of things we “have to do.”

If I  feel like I’m sinking, that’s when I’ve learned I must retreat.  I must go find a quiet spot, which is hard, and I need to really listen to that still small voice inside me.  Perhaps it’s God, maybe it’s the universe, maybe I’m a little crazy and I just hear voices.

But seriously, last week when I was so overwhelmed with emotion, frustration and felt like I was losing control, I just got into my truck and drove, in the rain and parked.  I had on The Coffee House station on XM radio and it played all the right songs.  I felt like they had handpicked music to go along with my current feels.

I cried.

It rained, it really poured.

It felt so good to get that out…and to just think! Alone!

What do I need?

What do I want? 

What is my purpose?

And within a day, I actually discovered Trent Shelton whom I felt also spoke to me and he said, “You are purpose.”

We have such a small chance of even being put onto this earth, so that alone should give you enough purpose.

So many of us are just floating around with these amazing gifts, talents and beautiful parts of us that no one sees!!

We are scared.

We are afraid of what others may think, or say.

We can come up with a million and one reasons why we shouldn’t, couldn’t or won’t…

But friend, you must step away from that mindset and free yourself.

Put your words out there, regardless of what someone may say to you.

Upload your video to share your story, so that someone else may not feel alone.

Do not let the world (or rather the people in it) keep you from what you are meant to be or do.

Chances are, they’re hurting too and also need to read this.

Shine on, sweet friend…shine on and rise to your occasion!

Fun Facts Friday

I figured I would just blog a quickie today!! I may have some newer readers around here so I wanted to share some fun facts about moi.

 

  • I’m the oldest of 3 girls
  • I went to a state college for my teaching degree
  • I taught English (grades 7-11 throughout 8 years) and loved it.
  • I met my husband on Match.com and MySpace in 2007 and we actually met and began dating in 2008.
  • We went on a cruise only after knowing each other a month!
  • We bought our first “fixer upper” in 2008.
  • We got married 7.10.10
  • Joe and I honeymooned in Amsterdam, Paris & Rome.
  • We now own 10 properties, plus our home and 20 acres of land to build on.
  • When I no longer wanted to teach, I became a stay at home wife.
  • After trying to conceive since August 2010, we were blessed with our first born on January 11, 2013.
  • She was the perfect baby ringing in 8 lbs 6 ounces!
  • I gained over 70 lbs during pregnancy
  • I became healthier and in better shape than before I got prego (thank you AdvoCare!)
  • 2 years and 6 days later, we welcomed our son into the world at 8 lbs 14 ounces.
  • It was shortly after baby boy that I realized how involved I had to become in our real estate. (All the paperwork!)
  • In 2017 we upped our real estate game and decided to offer rent to own homes.
  • I enjoy cooking gourmet meals.
  • I have no desire to go back to teaching.
  • I want to write multiple books.
  • My favorite color is pink.
  • I prefer cheese pizza over any other kind.
  • I hate sweet wine.
  • I’m obsessed with the moon phases.
  • We will own a lake house one day!
  • I used to hate working out but I really have grown to love it.
  • I kill all plants.
  • My body does best when I eat clean real whole food.
  • Traveling is one my favorite things to do.
  • Reading and writing help me process thoughts so much.
  • Dancing makes my soul feel soul good.
  • I can be shy but I’m pretty funny and outgoing once you get to know me.

Any questions? Ask me anything!

Happy Friday friends!

Happy Half Birthday – to Me

37.5 years on this earth.

That’s really freaking close to 40 people.

The older I get, the more I want to not necessarily slow down, but savor life?  The little in between moments.  The quietness in the middle of all the chaos.  Amongst the rush, the crazy, the real world day to day insanity that pulls.

In 6 short months I’ll be 38.

It will be hot, sunny & hopefully I’ll be sipping on some fabulous dry rosé, Veuve perhaps?

My husband will feel like a new man.  My children will be even more awesome than now, (if that’s possible.)

Life will be ebbing and flowing as it always does, throwing curveballs and strange things, but perhaps maybe it will just be that much better too.

2019 has been a bitch so far, I said it.

My heart is overflowing with emotions to share, but I’m not quite ready I suppose.  We are all doing well, so thank you so much sweet friends for reaching out, commenting and checking on us.

I’ve been so lucky to find my better half and feel a love that I’m not quite certain every person actually feels…I wish that everyone could feel it!  It takes hard work, dedication, compromise and a lot of communication, but the love I have for my husband and he for me I know from the depths of my soul is real and true and pure.

I am strong and he is stronger.

I know that each year we will get better together, no matter what obstacles are thrown our way, and trust me there are always lots!

I miss writing, sharing, feeling, reflecting…

Happy half way to 38 Jennifer Lynn; you are doing an amazing job at navigating life. Sure it’s messy, confusing, scary and sometimes all too much–but the good parts?  Oh they are so sweet & juicy!!   And I truly believe they are on the horizon.

Here’s to making mundane moments magical and always finding the silver lining…