*I wrote this early in January of 2021, but never published. I felt compelled to share this now. I understand we have the vaccine out and things are slowly starting to open up and get back to “normal” but I still wanted to share my feelings, in case you too felt this way too. *
There’s no hiding that emotions are a bit of a roller coaster since March 2020. It’s been a full time job for me to check my emotions and get them under control in all areas of my life. I’ve always been a very hard worker, often a bit too serious, sensitive and extremely aware of others and their feelings. Like so many people, our lives were rocked almost a year ago and it’s taken a lot of self-discipline and mind-work to stay the course. I will always stress how important it is to feel your feelings, but then we must move forward. Staying stuck and stagnant does not good for anyone. I truly believe it is our duty to be happy–the universe wants what is the highest good for all. Though moments will creep up and stress you out, it’s the overall package you need to consider. I share these thoughts because I can honestly say that I am not complaining, Joe and I are choosing to stay safe and stay home for many reasons. However, these things still bother me and upset me— I just don’t focus on them and let them control my life.
I confess that I am sad that…
…my son didn’t go off to Kindergarten
…my daughter didn’t get to finish dance classes and perform in her recital.
…she didn’t get to do dance this year either.
…I can’t hug my parents.
…we can’t go out to eat in restaurants.
…we can’t travel anywhere.
…Joe and I haven’t had a date night/kid free night since March 6, 2020.
…I worry about seeing anyone because Covid is so rampant.
…I worry about anyone I know getting sick.
….I can’t go enjoy shopping.
…my kids don’t get to ride the bus to school together.
…we can’t have real playdates.
…there were no real big birthday parties for 6 & 8.
…my mom can’t come visit and stay in our house.
…I can’t hang out with my sisters like usual.
…I haven’t had a mani/pedi in over a year.
…my cleaner can’t come over monthly.
…I can’t sit inside a Starbucks and sip a latté.
I confess that I am really grateful for…
…how creative the kids are getting with legos and drawing.
…how they have weekend sleepovers with each other.
…overall they’re becoming closer (really we all are)
…we were able to take our part time real estate business full time.
…we were able to grow our company and hire a team.
…we are able to work together (a dream of ours)
…that our office is wherever we want it to be. Summer it’s the beach, Winter it’s in front of our fireplace
…Joe’s able to spend so much time with the kids.
…that while we may not be able to do much out and about now, we are working hard so that when we can, it will be epic
…we are healthy and safe.
I could go on and on but if you’re feeling overwhelm –too much bad or maybe just need to get it all off your chest, do so! Writing it out always helps me feel better.
What can you share about your pandemic experience?