My Thoughts on Being a Stay at Home Mom

So many thoughts.  Good thoughts. Frustrated thoughts.  Scary thoughts. Silly thoughts. Wonderful thoughts.  FOMO thoughts. Unforgettable thoughts. Questioning thoughts. Breathing thoughts.

It’s funny, if you think too much how crazy you can drive yourself.  Staying home to me has been one of the biggest gifts, blessings, passions, best and most wonderful thing!! At the same time, it can be a tad lonely, scary, worrisome, and if I let it, questioning.   In today’s world, women are told we can be and do anything.  Yay!  No I am not a feminist (far from it) but I love that we have the ability to do whatever we want.  I think the hardest part is that you have to find what you’re happy with.  Throughout the last 5 1/2 years I have had thoughts cross my mind that maybe I should go back to work. I will admit that it’s mostly when things are hard, (duh life is hard!) but also as teacher friends get ready to go back to school in the Fall, I have a twinge of “what if…?”

But as with anything, I allow myself to work through my feelings.  I write, I talk it out, usually with my husband and good friends, or my mom.  I try to figure out why I may feel a certain way and go from there.

I will say that running a business and staying home is not for the faint of heart.  I truly believe there is MORE than enough work to do taking care of a child, or children, cook from scratch, clean the home, care for dogs, and take care of a husband who works crazy intense hours.  It’s hard to find time to do things that need to get done, things you want to get done, plus play with the kids, enjoy the time with them and possibly give yourself some down time too.

I believe it takes a village to raise children, and villages don’t really exist in my world, so other than an awesome sitter who actually just had a baby of her own, it’s hubby and I.  Family lives far away and so a lot falls onto my shoulders.

I had to take a good look at our life and pick and choose what and where I want to spend my time.  For me, there are several non negotiable terms when it comes to our home life.  I find it extremely important for the kids to eat a warm breakfast most days.  Even if it’s a bagel and cream cheese or one little egg.  I think that a hearty meal first thing in the morning sets you up for success.  I also will always be here to greet the kids off the bus.  Until they are in high school, I truly find that after school time to be crucial.  Is this the only way to be a mom?  Absolutely not! But in my heart, it’s the way I want to be.

I’ve recently discovered my true need to break a sweat at a gym.  We had a monthly membership to the Y, but I decided it was a tad expensive and canceled it in August.  Well, September was absolutely nutty trying to get into a groove with one in Kindergarten and one in preschool a few hours each week.  Once we settled into the swing of things, it was all of a sudden Halloween.   I would make lame attempts to do at home workouts, or walk the dogs and play with the kids, but I missed socializing with people! I haven’t even been there a week yet, but I can tell you in the few times I’ve gone, my smile is bigger and my mind is quieter. I’ve also implemented a few more things, but I’ll touch on those later.

Bottom line, being a momma is hard.  We worry even if we don’t want to and I always want to do the right thing.   I will tell you it’s difficult to not give into the tantrums, the junk food, the instant gratifications.  But it’s so worth it.  Stay at home or work at home, moms are amazing.  (Dads are too, but this post isn’t about them!)

Like I’ve stated before, there is not “right way” when it comes to staying home or working as a mom.  There is only what’s best for you.  For me it’s a crazy combination of staying home, and also working.   I believe that once the kids are both in school full time I will be open to even more opportunities.  I have quite the ‘bucket list’ of dreams I’d like to accomplish and the ultimate dream being to work with my husband every day.

Regardless of what your “job title” may be, the best advice I can offer is to stay focused.  Don’t get caught up with what other people are doing.  This I am learning, is very tricky with social media in my hands.  I can very quickly get down on myself for not being where I would like to be.  It’s good to push ourselves, but it’s a whole different ball game to compare and lose sight of what is right in front of us.

Would I stay home or go back to work if I had to do it all again?  

I’d stay home 100%.  Even on the hardest of days where I feel like I accomplished nothing, I know that I am making the right choice for my family.  If you stay home and feel like you’re in a rut, then I highly suggest shaking up your routine.  Get out more; have more fun; meetup with some other mommas or do a baby or toddler class.  Leave the dishes be and get on the floor with the kiddos.  Snuggle them on the couch and ignore the laundry.  It’s all gonna be there anyway.

Also, mamas, ladies, women friends, do not ever feel guilty for filling your cup!!  Take the bubble bath and lock the door.  Pour a glass of wine and play the jazz music.  Sneak off to the coffee shop and bring your laptop.  Join that gym and go do your favorite class.  Read that book or follow that dream inside of you.  You are worth it!!  If you’re so caught up in your crazy busy life and don’t even know where to start, then you definitely need to stop and take a pause…

I’ll be sharing more on my pause in an upcoming post.  Until then, feel free to comment or reach out to me. You are not alone!! Motherhood aint easy, and there are way too many mean girls out there competing.  Life is not a competition; it’s your journey and yours alone.  Tune out the negativity and quiet your mind…I bet you’ll be pleasantly surprised!

Make today beautiful friends.

 

Hello November!

Well, October came and went….pretty damn fast!!

I could say, “sorry I didn’t blog every day in October,” but you know what? I’m not sorry.  I did what I could; I had a few rough moments, days where life turned into a blur and things just didn’t turn out.  So ya know what? You get yourself up, brush yourself off and start again.  Don’t quit.  You can rest, just don’t quit.

I feel like I needed to take a few steps back, re-evaluate where my heart and mind were at and just be.

I really had such a great time trick-or-treating with my gang last night!!  We went to our friends’ house and we basically just started an awesome new tradition.   Their little ones are 2 1/2 and 6 months, so it gave me all sort of feels and flashbacks to when our life was like that!! It was so cool to see our two, who are 3 & 5 run to each house and really get excited over their costumes, candy and all things Halloween.

I will remember this Halloween as, “Black Panther & Mavis.”

We enjoyed pizza, cider & donuts as well as some much needed hanging out time.  All work no play is never good for anyone and I am realizing that this mama NEEDS MORE TIME WITH OTHERS!

How cute is this little dalmatian!?

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The trees are really changing and it’s quite lovely!

This has got to be one of my favorites.

Baby’s first Halloween!

It’s crazy when you can step back for a bit and reflect, you can come to some amazing conclusions.

I enjoyed a much needed pedicure, latté and even read a bit of a book earlier today.

Tomorrow Brooke has off from school and hubby’s staycation begins.  *Let’s pray he gets a big buck sooner than later!!

Here is to the last 60 days, the final months of the year.  We have so much to be grateful for this year and in this season, I hope to find the magic all around.  I look forward to an amazing Thanksgiving with family and a joyous Christmas spirit.

May your days for the next two months be Merry & Bright!

Fall Beauty Must Haves!

I am such a girlie girl.  I absolutely love makeup and all things beauty related.  I am not a beauty guru by any means, and I was brought up in a “less is more” household.  I was raised not really wearing any makeup.  Bonne Bell chapsticks, a little cover girl blush and my eye lash curler got me through high school.  In college I overplucked my brows and wore way too much white/shiny eye shadow.  Thanks to Britney Spears!

However, as I have gotten older I do find the joy in applying makeup and using great skincare products since I am 37, not 22.  I have never had Botox, but am not against it.

This past Spring I decided to switch from Mary Kay skincare to a more natural, botanical line which happens to be a Stella & Dot sister company.  Ever Skin Care has done nothing but better my skin!! I haven’t had any crazy breakouts and honestly feel like my skin actually has a glow to it.  I do use makeup wipes to take off my makeup with every night and I just started using this Trio into my routine.  I love the beauty water, which cleanses and removes makeup.  The brightening gel is amazing and I am really loving the priming moisturizing cream.

I also use their tinted moisturizer daily as I don’t like to wear a foundation. (not pictured)

They just launched a few matte long lasting lip colors.  I have been a HUGE fan of their plumping nude glosses for every day.

I tried this long lasting matte and it does last for awhile! I will say that I felt like it was a tad drying, so I need to work on keeping my lips moisturized.  It’s a super pretty color, this is Crush.

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My friend Jenna sold me on these two products!  This I saw HUGE results with.  An instant glow and rejuvenated face for sure!  They do sting a bit around my nose, but nothing terrible.  I don’t use them every day but when I do, my skin looks and feels fabulous.  It does have witch hazel which my friend Elizabeth told me could be a bit much on sensitive skin, but as long as I don’t use it daily it seems to be fine!

I was a really big fan of Younique’s Rose Water as a toner, but honestly after they changed the glass bottle to plastic, I was meh over it.  Jenna also recommended this to me and WOW!!  This stuff smells so good and I use it as a toner or even a mid day spritz to refresh!

If you are local, she knows her stuff and is excellent at what she does.  Show owns Mint Skin Spa in Spencerport and I swear, before the end of the year I am booking a lash tint and lift with her!!

The Younique gals never steer ya wrong!  Use the chapstick (vanilla) then line with Prim which is actually an eye pencil, followed up with a liquid lipstick called Stellar. Shop those products here!

And this is a bit blurry, but again I used Younique, it was palette 2!  Here I have on my beloved Lipsense, I believe in Sheer Berry.  I just love a good bold lip for date night!  I still curl my eyelashes daily and I am obsessed with Younique’s Epic Mascara.

Never forget the brow powder either! I got mine years ago at my brow place.

As for my hair products, I have been trying something new, which I will blog ALL about soon!  (Icy blonde, anyone!?0 I’m using the purple shampoo, by Joico found at Ulta or Amazon.  I curled my hair with my chi straightener.

And lastly, I may not be 19 any more, but goodness gracious I still love me some good old fashion Bath & Body Works Fall scented lotions.  They may have chemicals and I try not to use them all year, but once in awhile? Yes. Yes. Yes.

What are your current favorite Fall beauty must haves?!

CBD Oil

I’ll preface this post by saying, I am not a doctor nor do I have any sort of certification in the health world.  I do however love sharing what helps my family and I feel our best.

My husband has Crohn’s Disease and has dealt with it since diagnosed at 17.  He’s been on all sorts of medications and steroids, eliminated certain food and drinks from his diet and really watches his stress levels.

He saw a HUGE change in his overall health this past year when he added CBD.  First and foremost, for the love of all things, IT DOES NOT GET YOU HIGH.  There is no THC in CBD, it is NOT the same thing as “pot or weed” as most of us know it.

I’m still “new” to CBD, but I wanted to document n

It does not have to be smoked.  You can use a vape pen, or a tincture or it can be an edible like these gummies.

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The gummies my husband buys from a local CBDepot here in town.  They do taste yummy, but I don’t love the extra chemicals…

My husband was so kind and saved these for me to share, if you’re into visuals like this:

I know this is a bit blurry, but it explains how CBD can effectively work in our bodies.

I personally like this oil from Thoughtcloud, which I’ve seen others post about as well.  The quality is great and it’s super effective.  I started with this 750 mg bottle and just did a little drop under my tongue before bed each night.  I slept like a rock!!  I also noticed that my moods were a little more stable and the biggest difference for me was that typically the week before my period I was a MESS.  I’m talking, crying, angry, frustrated, hating the world, everything felt like it was crashing down on me.  I was making mountains out of mole hills and feeling like I couldn’t breathe. I really rely on holistic approaches, not that I’m against doctors and modern meds, but nothing that I was doing seemed to help.  I was getting ready to bring up my issue as possible PMDD at my next OB appointment because of how badly I was feeling.

Since adding this, I have felt SO much better.   It does take awhile (I’d say a few weeks for me) to start seeing a significant change. It’s not a quick fix, nor can you feel an immediate effect if you’re super overwhelmed or feeling a bit out of control.

I upgraded to the bigger bottle last time so that it would last me longer.

Does it make you sleepy?

I have taken it during the day and have had zero effects of feeling lazy, tired or unable to function. If anything, it has helped me focus and get whatever I was trying to accomplish, done.  I have even had really great workouts because of it!  You will not wake up groggy from taking it the night before either.

My husband and I have nothing but rave reviews about CBD oil.

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If you are interested, use this link to checkout Thoughtcloud! They are constantly running sales and promotions on their products.  I only wish I had started taking the oil sooner! Any of my friends who have tried it also have seen great improvements in their ability to sleep, better moods and less anxiety.  It is the FIRST thing I now recommend to people, along with Acupuncture, eating clean & healthy foods as well as exercise and rest.

Feel free to ask me any questions and I will do my best to answer you honestly, as always!

Stepbet Thoughts

My best girlfriend Ann joined a “Stepbet” and basically made me join too.  LOL!  No really, she encouraged me and said it’d be fun, all we have to do is meet our daily walking goal 4x a week and power goals 2x a week and you get a day off.  You put $40 into the pot and if you stick with it all 6 weeks, you get your money back.  If others drop out, you get a cut of their money split amongst the rest of the crew who stuck it out.  If you have an Apple Watch or a Fitbit, it will calculate your averages for you. Somehow my friend Nikki thought it’d be fun too, so she joined in! HA!

The first week is a prep week and it doesn’t actually count. This is where I learned the value of charging my watch; it died a few times and that was bad. I am not gonna lie, the second week I ROCKED it!  I was walking the dogs, pushing the stroller, running around like a mad woman–all while the weather was nice.  However as soon as the temps started to drop, so did my activity level.

Now I’m not a stationary person to begin with; but I don’t hit almost 11,000 steps every single day either.  I’ve learned that this is harder than I thought!! There are days where you are stuck in the car, going to appointments or sitting doing work (chores, playing with kids, snuggling, etc) and there are also times where you just want to not walk!

I literally have 4 days left.  2 can be active and 2 have to be power.  I developed a small (yet annoying!) chest cold on Saturday, so my energy has been zero.  I tried to “rest” as much as I could while still getting in my steps Monday & Tuesday.   Today as I type this at 3pm, I’m at 5,322.  I still need to get to 10,781 by midnight tonight.

My friends and I have found ourselves doing jumping jacks, pacing hallways, running in place and just walking for literally NO reason.  I think it’s kind of hilarious and kind of obnoxious all in one.  I’m a huge fan of challenges, but man alive I’m ready for this one to be OVER! Why is the last week of something always the hardest?

If you’re reading, then please say a little prayer I’ll actually finish this last week; mama needs all the support she can get!  I so appreciate all of my friends who encourage me and to those of you stepping, we’ve got this!!  I will let you all know how much money I end up with at the end. #positivevibes

Here is what today looks like:

Here is a look at the whole 5 weeks that actually counted.

I must say there are a few pros/cons.

Pros- I feel like my legs are super muscular! My booty is looking fine too (according to the hubs! LOL!) I have not gained any weight and honestly, I’m enjoying carbs and yummy treats.  I’ve bonded with some good friends.  I feel like Superwoman when I complete each week.  I know I’m being healthier and getting outside with the kids, when I maybe would wanna curl up and be lazy.  I feel like I’m being a good role model for my son and daughter.

Cons– Really the biggest is maybe the stress of it this last week.  Getting sick sucks and I’m just tired! I don’t want to lose my money, so I must finish! The only other con is that I miss lifting weights and doing yoga.  If I’m “going to spend time being active” then I need my darn steps!

Have you or would you do a Stepbet?